Usually late at night I am wide awake wishing I could sleep and finding ways to keep myself occupied. I started this blog hoping to reach out to fellow makeup lovers, hoping to get my name out there and build my skills. So far the blog hasn't done very well in terms of what you call popular, but it has given me an outlet, and keeps my imagination flowing with new creative ways to paint my face and improve my talents.
Tonight however, I find myself needing a different kind of outlet. An interweb ventilation system if you will. One I am willing to share so publicly because I know there are others who can relate.
I have a few disorders that I find hold me back in many of life's aspects, they are not easy to live with, nor put up with if you happen to be in my range. I am a difficult, complex, strange and complicated being. On a daily basis I question the universe of my demons and struggles. I question my existence here and it's meaning. I question and over analyze almost everything.
I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, paranoia, borderline personality disorder, and insomnia. My first diagnoses was over 10 years ago and every day is an uphill battle. I am proud to say I have overcome many things, and every day is just another day to better myself. Sometimes the recognition of others is nice as well, but unless you're happy with yourself it will never matter what anybody else thinks. You need to know your worth. You need to know you're worth it, even when you're doubtful. Just remind yourself how far you've come through ups and downs. You are not alone in this journey, everyone has a story.
Don't judge what you don't know, or understand. Especially people; they may just surprise you. So if you're anything like me and find yourself needing some positive reinforcement, get busy doing something you love, laugh, smile, and everything else will work out.
Xo Cally Anna Mae
No comments:
Post a Comment